Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
