I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
