I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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