Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
