No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
