he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
