So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
