Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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