I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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