Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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