Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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