we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
