Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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