I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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