Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
