I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
