It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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