Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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