I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
