I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
