I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
