I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
