He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
