Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
