I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
