i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
