so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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