Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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