If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if only i could text you this smell
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
