im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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