yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
