we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
