I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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