So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
