no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
