I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
