I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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