Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
