We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
