also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
