you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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