it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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