I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
