I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Someone signed my nipple.
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