Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
