Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
