i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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