Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
