I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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