im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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