is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
