Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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