I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
